Cords and an IV line wrapped themselves around me, much as seaweed entangles a sinking ship. The dim hallway of the hospital was to my left, and a large window which framed a spacious open field that was being painted by the colors of the setting sun was to my right.
As valiantly as my heart grasped to feel the warmth and joy of that beautiful field, it couldn’t. What was merely a few hundred feet beyond the window felt as if it was a world away. Earlier that day, a Doctor had informed me that I had a serious medical condition that would radically change my life and restrict the things that I’d be able to do. He also stated that I would require a lifetime of prescription drugs and that major surgery was inevitable and on the near horizon. I was terrified and shaken to the core.
Having been raised as a member of the LDS church for the twenty years leading up to this moment, I waited until the hospital staff had cleared the room and I closed my eyes and said one of the most heartfelt prayers of my life. I pleaded with Heavenly Father that he would restore my health and somehow provide me with an escape from this bleak situation. I didn’t know how he would do it, but I knew that he could if he was willing. I realized that I was coming to him empty handed and in a state of despair, and yet while I was praying I felt inspired and convicted to make him a clear and specific pledge: “Heavenly Father, I promise that I’ll read The Bible from cover to cover before the end of this year if you’ll deliver me from this mess and restore my life.”
Fast forward three months and you’ll find me laying in bed at home with my scriptures open, my eyes readily absorbing the words of John from the book of Revelation – the 66th and final book of The Bible. With about an hour to spare before the year 2003 transitioned to 2004, I finished reading the Bible. This was undoubtedly one of the richest experiences of my life and it transformed me in ways I never could have imagined. In fact, it converted me to a new way of thinking and to a new way of faith.
Though I had read thousands of verses from The Bible as a member of the LDS church, I had never been intentional about reading through it in order and in its entirety and this made all the difference for me. When read in a fuller context, passages took on a new meaning and a richness that had eluded me before. Reading about the law given in the Old Testament and then how Christ fulfilled that law on my behalf and nailed it to the cross (Col. 2:14) in the New Testament filled me with love beyond description.
What I didn’t expect when I set out on my journey is that reading The Bible would cause me to question some of most foundational beliefs that I held as a member of the LDS church. Rather than finding The Bible to be complementary to some of the core doctrines of the church, I found it to be in outright opposition.
Were the teachings of the LDS church more correct than those of The Bible? Were the teachings of The Bible more correct than those of the LDS church? Were they both correct, and were the perceived discrepancies between the two only in my head?
As I continued reading through the New Testament I was born again and as I felt the Holy Spirit opening my mind and my heart it caused me to see The Bible in a new light. I became fully persuaded that The Bible was the perfect Word of God and that the differences that I saw between the teachings of The Bible and the teachings of the LDS church were real. As sincerely as I wanted to reconcile my faith in the teachings of The Bible with the LDS teachings that I had grown up with, I couldn’t.
It was profoundly challenging to walk away from twenty years of membership in the church, a rich cultural mosaic woven with memories of singing ‘Book of Mormon Stories’ as a child, passing the sacrament as a teenager, and teaching Sunday School as a young adult. The trademark smell of the typical LDS chapel will forever be embedded in my mind – a unique blend consisting of closely cropped carpet, leather belts and shoes, hardwood gymnasium floors, and of the white bread and tap water used for the sacrament.
As much as I loved, and still love the warmth and sincerity of the LDS community, I felt the LORD leading me into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him outside the walls of the church.
My relationship with Him has flourished more than I ever could have imagined and I am forever grateful that his Son Jesus lives within me and that his Holy Spirit guides my steps. I had a zeal and a love for God while I was LDS, just as I know that many of my LDS friends and family do, but it’s hard to put into words how much deeper the roots of my relationship with him have become since I was born again while reading The Bible.
So why couldn’t I have just remained a member of the LDS church while fostering this new found love for the LORD? There were three critical areas of disagreement that I perceived between the teachings of The Bible and the teachings of the LDS church and I found these to be absolutely irreconcilable.
The first area is the nature of God the Father, the second is the nature of Jesus Christ, and the third is the nature of the Gospel and how a person is saved.
That being said, for the purpose of keeping this blog readable and at least somewhat concise I’ll only be focusing on the third area at this time: the nature of the Gospel.
Before I go into greater detail about this important issue, please know that I have immense levels of love and respect for my LDS friends and family members. Many of you are an inspiration to me and I aspire to become more like you. I mean no disrespect or animosity toward you, and only share these things in the hope that they will allow your walk with the LORD to be strengthened and unencumbered.
When standing in line outside of the LDS conference center as a teenager, I remember being mocked for my faith by a group of misguided protestors armed with signs and megaphones. I assure you that I am not one of those protestors. I am simply a former member of the LDS church who still cares for my brothers and sisters.
So what is my issue with the Gospel as presented by the LDS church? I believe that it adds on to a Biblical Gospel that was never meant to be added onto and changes it’s very essence in the process.
The LDS Gospel teaches that the grace of Christ is sufficient only after you’ve denied yourself of all ungodliness and have loved God with all your might, mind and strength. (See Moroni 10:32) and that
“..it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.” (2 Nephi 25:23)
Boyd K. Packer reinforced this theme in the Ensign magazine in November of 1995 (pg. 19) in which he states “Even that grace of God promised in the scriptures comes only ‘after all we can do.’
Dallin H. Oaks added to this sentiment in the May 1998 Ensign magazine (pg. 56) by stating “And what is ‘all we can do’? It surely includes repentance and baptism, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.”
Touching on just one of these “Salvation Prerequisites” described in the quotes above; as a member of the LDS church do you really feel safe knowing that your very Salvation is contingent upon your ability to keep the law of the commandments?
The same commandments that Jesus took to a whole new level of intensity in his Sermon on the Mount found recorded in Mathew 25, in which he states that being angry with your brother or sister without a cause is equivalent to murder (Thou shalt not kill) and that looking upon a woman with lust is equivalent to committing adultery (Thou shalt not commit adultery). These powerful words shattered the hopes of the legalists who had fooled themselves into thinking that they were actually keeping the law to any degree of righteousness in the eyes of God.
The same commandments that no flesh would be justified by, according to the Apostle Paul in Romans 3:20. And again in Galatians 2:16, where Paul states “Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.”
One might ask “Well what if I just do the best that I can to keep the law, and even if I mess up here or there, God will understand and grant me Salvation for doing my best?” Sorry, but according to James 2:10, “whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.”
So if no human can keep the law, why did God prescribe it in the first place? Paul answers that question in Galatians 3:24 where he states “Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.”
In other words, the law was given to show us how sinful we are when compared to a perfect and Holy God and how we are utterly incapable of living up to the level of holiness and righteousness that God demands. The law was designed to break us of our pride so that we might instead seek after Christ and inherit his perfect righteousness which he imputes to us when we accept him as our Lord and Savior.
The only condition? We can’t claim that we earned even .0001% of this free gift of Salvation. Our works play no part in this equation. It’s an exercise in faith and faith alone.
Paul makes this very clear when he says “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Eph 2:8-9) and again “But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” (Titus 3:4-7)
According to The Bible, Salvation is an all or nothing endeavor. You are saved by grace and not of works. Grace plus works equals nothing, and Grace plus nothing equals everything.
By this point you might be thinking “So I can just kick the law to the curb and willingly live in outright sin and still be granted Salvation because I said the magic words and accepted Christ?” Of course not. Paul addresses this point in Romans 6 where he states “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?” We are called to walk in newness of life, doing good works not to earn our Salvation, but because of our Salvation which has freely and graciously been given to those who trust solely in the finished work of Christ, and not in the works of their own hands.
My dear friends. My prayer is that you would let go of any of your own works that you may be clinging on to in the hope of attaining Salvation, so that your hands would instead be free to cling to Christ and Christ alone. For in Christ alone is Salvation found.
Paul couldn’t have said it any better than he does in 2 Corinthians 9. “Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.” Amen!